Alright, let us be honest, I am probably known by heart in this hospital as the most toxic being ever to have stepped foot in their ward or emergency room. The legend of my toxicity reaches to even far flung hospitals... Okay, maybe not that far flung, but my legend reaches Garcia, AMC, Sacred Heart, St. Lukes, ONA, JBL, and VMMC. Hospitals that I have either ambulated a patient to, or even had my rotations as a clerk.
That legend, although derogatory in the fact that it speaks the very toxicity I exude, what most people claim, a blackish aura; though, I am pretty damn sure, they just can't tell the difference between the said blackish aura and the sun laden skin tone of mine. In a way, I am thankful by that legend even as above mentioned being slightly derogatory, because it also speaks of my composure under such toxicity; how I remain cool during codes and having to revive a patient; how there is an emergency operation, that I probably don't know how the procedure would be done or the anatomy around the organ we will be operating on; I still remain cool, doing the job I am expected to do, and them some; being to able to asnwer, for the most part at least, questions thrown at me. It definitely isn't something that one would be proud of, but I live and breath, and STRIVE, under such pressures. And it brings out whatever best I have in me.
This 24 hour tour of duty of mine, strangely, isn't the case. I wouldn't say that I am toxic, even after yet another emergency operation, that I had to assist, straining my puny arms retracting, legs giving out and shaking due to the fact that I skipped dinner just to assist, begging that time flew by, and I stayed in suspended animation, only to resume my life the way I knew it when the operation was finally over. But nope. Reality is a b*tch and said, "f**k you, I'm slowing down time even more so!". And yes, what was supposed to be an hour and half operation, felt like four hours... So I was running on empty by the time things were said and done.
On the very bright side, the patient that undergone an emergency appendectomy is stable, all well, and expected to be discharged this coming Thursday. Even if I complain about such things, I still care for my patients more than they'd ever know, more than I'd ever want them to know anyway; more than taking care of myself, or even that of my family members. For one, I never thought I'd ever have this kind of compassion, being known as the short tempered, insesitive shorty, that I am. And I always saw my patients as, okay, if I don't treat this patient right, I will get slapped with a demirit of unknown number of hours. But later on, I started to say, hey, we should treat this patient right, because I WANT HIM/HER to get better and have the quality of life he/she sorely desserves. I finally have that compassion. The sense of duty has always been with me, but the compassion, though late to the party, I finally have it a part of my management of patients.
Looking forward to my "from duty" status where I swear I'd sleep the day away, cancelling whatever plans I have to either the mall, the bank, my dentist, or the gym. My parents and every kind hearted or cruel souled elderly used to tell me to enjoy sleep; looking back at my younger self, I how I loathed you for not listening to the wise words of your parents or the elderly. Now that a lot older and not anywhere taller, I just wanna sleep all my free time away. And in doing so, sigh, I never get to study for my board exams whenever I am home. Ah well.
And with that... I'll end this post.
Til next time.
Here is a photo that was taken recently in a Joint Thanksgiving Medical Mission of my sisters, Dra. Canono, and Dra. Udarbe (my real sis lol)
Please do visit my Flickr Photostream