Tuesday, 29 July 2014

Some Nights...

There are indeed times when I was still in medical school proper that I question my decision in choosing this career path. Now, I am certainly not trying to be boastful, but I am pretty darn sure, I could have been successful in any other career path I would have chosen otherwise. And it would have been an easier journey that would pale in comparison to taking up medicine.

There were ultimatums here and there, wherein if I don't pass a certain subject, or if I'm really fed up, I'd quite medicine, and choose another career that I'd equally enjoy but not stressed as the case was in medical school. But I stayed. I don't know why, or what was my driving force, but I stayed.

I couldn't count all the heart breaks, both in the love life and academic stand point, that would cripple the emotionally weak; events that tranpired that would make even the most faithful question the existence God; people that I have taken for granted, for which, if they did not know the slightest difficulty of medicine, would just leave you; and sleepless nights, that you wish you had one day off and sleep all day.

I am now a senior medical intern, just a year away from my board exams, and up to this day, I still question myself. Why medicine? Why am I caring for other people's family member, sacrificing lunch, dinner, etc; sacrificing sleep and whatnot; eliminating my would be dull social life; and not even being able to care for my own family? And yet, still be unappreciated by the patient or the patient's significant other. Why?

Because, I later realized, God put me here for a reason. If He knew this was not for me, then I should have been out even before I took up medicine 4 years ago. He gave me these challenges not because He is punishing me, but because He knows I can over come them. That was when I finally found my answer.

There will be difficult, unappreciating, patients some time in my career, but knowing that I did my part to cure them of any illnesses, even if a simple thank you would be passed up, and knowing that this is what God intended me to do in my life, then I'll gladly sacrifice sleep, food, social life, for His people.

For He has sacrificed His own Son for us... What is sleep anyways?